Rabu, 25 Agustus 2004

The Top 10 Advantages of Being a Loser

Here's the President's top ten list from August 23rd. Did you miss it?



The theme of the Aug 23 meeting of Toastmasters of La Jolla was the Humorous Speech Contest, and the Tabletopics Contest. As usual, I made a sharp lefthand turn and spun the topic. The focus was on competing and winning, so I thought I'd make the losers feel more comfortable.



Losing has gotten a bad rap. There are some really good benefits to losing. Here are...



The Top Ten Advantages of Being a Loser



10. Plenty of time to discover how many different shapes you make with a paper clip



9. More time with opposite sex means your loser genes are more likely to dominate the gene pool



8. Easier to keep relationships because girls that like losers have lower standards



7 . Mobile home parks are filled with your kind, and they're cheap!



6. If the Democrats win in 2004, all losers will receive a $90,000 tax credit.



5. If you lose dramatically on TV, you can get more airtime than the winner



4. TV is always looking for a guy whose broken leg pokes through his skin, or a driver whose car flips 12 times and then blows up



3. Losers always outnumber winners, so you can all jump the winner and beat him up



2. Sometimes losers win out of sheer luck and that really pisses off the winners



And the number one advantage of being a loser is...



1. No demanding training schedules means more time to watch Seinfeld reruns

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