Fact is, growing up I was a nerd, a geek, a four-eyes. I wouldn't say I wasn't physical, but I was short. I was good at math and other school subjects, so I got stereotyped.
Despite enjoying peewee baseball (where the ball was pitched by a machine), I took my leave when other kids my age started throwing the ball across the plate. It seemed to me they threw it with more speed than accuracy, and getting to play didn't outweight being hit. I tried soccer, too, but no one filled me in on the basics, and I was competing against kids who'd been playing for years. I didn't understand, and didn't enjoy it.
In elementary school, I wasn't one of the stars of kickball - I could occasionally kick for a "home run," but not consistently. In fact, my most memorable kickball moment was getting accidentally kicked in the jewels by a girl while waiting in line to kick.
I ran track for 2 years - I loved the 100 yard dash and the long jump. I tried the high jump, but couldn't get high enough for myself. Eventually, I'd had enough fun and moved on. I wasn't devoted to this one either. I loved handball, played with one of the big red kickballs - I played that almost every day, and was one of the best. I also loved a game called "prisoner bombardment," which was like a huge group dodgeball game - one team on each side of a basketball court, with four or six kickballs, the goal was to hit players on the opposite team, and then they had to go to your prison, in your backcourt - their teammates could "spring" them if they could throw a ball over to them, but if a competitor caught the ball, they also had to become a prisoner. They didn't play handball or prison bombardment in high school, though.
I never really tried basketball, though I did enjoy shooting baskets with my Dad in the driveway at home. I didn't even think of going out for football.
Even though there were sports I enjoyed, none of them were big, and I wasn't a sports kind of guy. I never "lettered" in any sport. I was on the tennis team for a year, but I had trouble with losing. I felt too 'on-the-spot', and took it too personally. It was hard not to be the best. Since I never devoted myself to any sport, I always was behind kids who had been practicing one for years.
The most I did in my Bachelor's degree was hike. I did a fair amount of that and enjoyed it. But I wasn't getting aerobic exercise.
I didn't find my true sports love until I was 28 years old. It was rock climbing. That is a story in itself, but the main thing I want to say is that finding my sport has changed my entire personality. I cut my long hair off. I am comfortable being physical. I understand aspects of being a man that I hadn't experience before. I suddenly got into college and NBA basketball after a lifetime of refusing to be a spectator of any sport. I suppose now that I had mine, I felt confident and secure enough to watch others have theirs. It no longer threatened my value, or my manhood.
Now I can watch all kinds of sports, and the benefit of that is getting to see the best examples of team activity and coaching. How to win and how to lose. How to work together. How to persist. How to have a goal and go after it no matter what.
